Mind Over Matter
by FadeIntoTheBackground
Summary: Lisbon is brought down to earth with a sudden reminder of her childhood, which continues to pursue her through work, home life and her budding relationship with Jane. Jisbon in later chapters. Hope you like it! :D
1. Chapter 1

**Another new multi-chapter, bad idea I know! Although I want to UD more right now, and I will, with Easter coming up, plenty of time to write :D**

**Thank you very much for everyone who has been reviewing my other fics, and I promise I will UD soon, but if you review this one I will UD even faster, promise :)**

**So here is is, please tell me what you think! For YouGottaSingAlong, Always an amazing writer and friend, and I hope you had a wonderful birthday. Despite urm.....well, never mind.**

'Tea or coffee?'

'Coffee.'

'Shower or bath?'

'Ermm....Shower.'

'Pink or purple.'

'Dark purple.'

'No no, that wasn't an option.'

'It was only a slight abbreviation.'

'It doesn't matter. Rules are rules Teresa.'

She snorted at him from across her desk. 'Says you! And there are no rules in this childish game.'

'Every game has rules.'

'Don't be obtuse Jane.'

'Why? Does it bother you?' He gave her his twinkling smile, and her mouth twitched into one back at him.

'Intensely,' She told him. 'And I won't say it again, get your feet off my desk.'

He grinned again, and sat up in his chair so that he could sweep his legs neatly off her desk, transferring them to the second chair behind it. Lisbon watched from behind the desk, arms folded, attempting to maintain her "stern face".

Lisbon had been enjoying the lack of case on that particular morning, and had spent it shut up in her office with Jane, which was now no irregular event, case or no case. They had been playing a pointless game of this or that, one of Jane's techniques, she guessed, to try and break down her barriers, to find out more about her. Luckily, so far the questions hadn't been too personal, and she had been enjoying the banter between them.

Jane tried again: 'Bowling or cinema?'

'Agent Lisbon?' A runner from the floor below put his head around her office door, saving her from answering the pointless question. She looked up.

'There's a man downstairs who wants to see you. He says its urgent. He doesn't want to speak to anyone, except you. He's unarmed, and he wanted me to give you this.' The runner stepped in, and held out a small, square cardboard box. 'He's on the floor below, in the waiting area. I suggest you come down as soon as possible.' He handed the box to Jane and left.

Jane immediately began to turn the box over in his hands, looking at it from all angles.

'Jane, give that here.'

'I'm just being cautious, it could be some kind of explosive.'

'It will have gone through the metal detector downstairs. Pass it over now.'

He reluctantly handed her the box. 'I love presents, any idea what it could be?'

'Nope.' She pursed her lips and started pulling open the top flap.

'The man downstairs, whoever he may be, is expecting you to know who he is when you open it.'

'And you know this how?'

'It's not hard to work out.' He gave her a shrug, and she gave up asking.

A smaller tray-like box was inside it, made of simple white card. Whatever was inside that was wrapped up with yellow tissue paper.

With Jane's eager eyes on her, she peeled apart the paper, and stared at the object inside. Silence.

'What is it? I can't see!' Jane leaned over the desk, peering into the box, and saw a simple harmonica resting in the folds of tissue paper. It was a little child's toy, small and blue, and made of plastic. It meant nothing to Jane, but it obviously did to Lisbon, who suddenly scraped her chair back and marched out of the office, head up, arms swinging defiantly, leaving the harmonica sitting in its box and tissue paper on her desk. Jane twisted around in his chair, watching her. He presumed she was heading downstairs, to confront the man, who obviously meant something.

He got out of his seat when she marched straight past the elevator, showing no signs of going downstairs. 'Lisbon?' He called, snatching up the harmonica and heading after her. He caught up with her in a side corridor, and grabbed her arm, pulling her round.

'Where are you going?'

'I....' He watched her flounder as he realised that she didn't even know.

'Aren't you going to see this guy? You obviously know who he is now.'

'I'm not going.'

'Now now, why would that be?'

'I'm serious Jane. I don't want to go. So I won't.'

'Me too. Deadly serious.' His eyes bored into hers, and she looked away, hating herself for it.

'I don't want to talk about it Jane.'

'We all have to do things in life that we don't want to do Teresa. Look at me now, I don't want to _force_ you to come downstairs, but it looks like I'm going to have to because its obviously something important that's got you all worked up like this.'

'You can't force me to do _anything _Jane,' she practically growled at him, startled by the sound of her own angry voice.

'Okay. Time's up, you can't hide anything and pretend its not important any more, it's far too obvious.'

'I don't know how many more times I have to tell you Jane, but I don't want to talk about it.' Her voice rose with each word, attracting stairs of passing agents at the mouth of the corridor. Seeing people looking, Lisbon shook Jane's arm off.

'You may as well tell me who he is, because if you don't, I'll just go straight down there and find out myself.'

'He won't talk to you.'

'I don't need to talk to him. I'll just need to see.'

'You wouldn't...' She tried to make her tone more convincing, before admitting defeat, swinging her head round and continuing down the corridor. Jane leapt in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.

She flung up her hands. 'For _Gods _sake Jane!'

He gently pushed her chin up with his fist, so she was staring in his eyes, and he saw that hers were cloudy with tears, the green of them misted and dulled.

'Come on Teresa,' He whispered, gazing steadily down at her. 'Tell me.'

It didn't take a genius to work out that she was mesmerised. It was enough to make even him feel slightly awkward. To remind her that he was still standing there, he knocked her chin with his fist. She blinked, startled, and this simple movement was enough to set a tear flowing down her face, which was quickly followed by another, as she was brought back to reality.

'Trust me,' He commanded in a low voice. 'I really need to know about the man that gave you this.' He held up the harmonica, and catching sight of it, she shook her head and pulled away yet again, leaving his fist still outstretched. He stepped closer and put his arm around her shoulder, and stood facing her, still holding up the harmonica.

'I can't go down there Jane,' She choked through the steady flow of tears, and he could tell that she was serious, she meant it this time, more than before.

'Why not?' He whispered, leaning a little closer so that his breath touched her ear.

She flinched away, and looked him in the eye properly, trembling slightly.

'That's my brother Jane.' She whispered. 'It's my brother downstairs.'

**And the drama begins. there will be plenty, I promise, well, that actually depends on reviews, so please do :D**

**Love to you all, Alice **


	2. Chapter 2

**I was pleased with the feedback I got for the first chapter, so I decided to UD in good enough time, although I rpomise the next one will be quicker if I get reviews for this one :)**

**So yeah, thanks to everyone who reviewed last time, this chapter is for Tiva4evaxxx, who has been my rock over the past few days, love you to bits :D**

**Not exactly action packed, but more interesting stuff is coming, I promise!**

Jane had to act fast, changing his startled expression into his usual demure one. However, something in her face, so close to his, told him that she had seen, and it had done nothing for her confidence. Her eyes flickered to the floor.

'Teresa,' It came out of his mouth before he knew it, he had no idea what he was going to say, he just had a desire to see her eyes, green and mesmerising, looking back up at him.

'You can't be scared of your brother,' he blurted.

Lisbon tilted her head and drew back a little. 'Scared? You think I'm....scared? Of my own brother?'

'Well, it's either him, or the memories he will bring to you. Either way, you can't hide up here.'

She looked in danger of indignantly interrupting him, so he continued swiftly. 'Are you going to tell me what this is?' He waved the harmonica in front of her face, taking a cruel kind of amusement in the way her eyes followed it back and forth warily.

Seeing him watching her with something almost like a smirk on his face, she adopted a sarcastic tone. 'It's a harmonica Jane. A mouth organ...?'

'I know that,' Jane corrected himself. 'I meant what does it mean to you?'

'Nothing. It's a childhood toy.'

'If someone walked in here now brandishing a rattle I wouldn't march back to your office, attempt to hide from my co-workers in there and then announce that it meant nothing, as it was only a childhood toy. It's the same principle with this harmonica. It obviously means something to you.'

'Hilarious.' She turned away.

As always, he was one step ahead of her. 'Good idea, let's head towards the elevator, then we can go down to see this brother of yours.'

Before she could protest, he had caught up her hand, and held it in both of his. She stared down at it, her expression turning to one of curiosity as he gently brought their clasped hands up to his face, and his warm breath flowed onto her hand, and her mouth twitched involuntarily, and for a moment she almost smiled.

'There,' he smiled back at her. 'It will be okay won't it? I'm here.'

Lisbon's defensive instincts kicked in, and she automatically began to fight his touch, his words. Before she could stop and think about whether or not she really did want to be alone, as her brain would always tell her, she had slid her hand easily out of his, and turned away, walking briskly down the corridor, away from him.

'Yeah Jane, I really need you hovering over me,' she told him sarcastically over her shoulder.

Her regret at her harsh words and actions were relieved a little when he swung round and followed her, stepping up beside her. For once, she found herself feeling glad that he never gave up.

Even Jane didn't quite dare to take up her hand in the bright light of the main corridor, with the eyes of co-workers upon them, but he did place a gentle arm suggestively around her shoulders.

She was so aware of his touch that it clouded her brain for a split second, and before she knew it he had her right in front of the elevator, and the doors were sliding neatly open. She was trapped.

'Damn you Jane,' she said as they stepped in, half snappily, half sighing.

He leaned against the wall of the otherwise empty elevator, pressed the button for the ground floor and then folded his arms, observing her from a few feet away. For some reason, it made her feel a little awkward, uncomfortable, as if something intimate had just happened between them and he was keeping a cautious distance, yet still managing to keep her aware of his very stare.

'No need for all the drama,' he suddenly brought her down to earth, smirking as he looked her up and down. 'One day you'll thank me.'

'I doubt that,' she gave him her cute, "slightly annoyed" look as the doors slid open at the ground floor, causing him only to beam back at her.

Reality hit as she headed towards reception. Not even Jane walking so close that their arms kept brushing could take away the fear she felt threatening to overpower her at any moment. The fear of seeing one boy, who meant so much to her, but who had gone, who she hadn't seen since childhood. Davey. She looked down at the harmonica still clutched in Jane's fist down by her leg.

They reached the glass wall shielding reception from the main building, and they saw the woman working quietly at her desk behind the glass. Lisbon looked past her, and her eyes lit upon the row of chairs by the desk. Only one of them occupied.

By a man. Small and slight, with Lisbon's build, and her high cheekbones, and her dark hair, with a hint of her green in his otherwise grey eyes.

Lisbon's knees started to buckle uncontrollably as she fought to overcome the sudden wave of inexplicable nausea and sense of sheer desperation that suddenly swept through her system. Jane jerked to catch her, and snatched her under the arms, yanking her onto her feet again. It was perhaps this sudden movement that caught the young man's eyes, and caused him to glance over in their direction, and then stop, and stare frozen in their direction, his eyes widening as he caught a clear view of Lisbon.

She was left feeling slightly sick as Jane pulled her upright and held her there, firmly. But the force of her brothers eyes, penetrating through hers, boring into her very skull, was all she needed to sober her up. It would have been a shock to see her brother anyway, as all the years had slipped away, and she had been thankful for that, she had a new life, and she didn't need interference from anyone who knew her from too far back.

But the fact that he was here, by no coincidence, he wanted to see her, there must be some reason, and the fact that he had changed.

'I know it must be a shock to you, I know he must have changed,' Jane tentatively whispered in her ear, though there was no one else around. 'But you mustn't let that hold you back, it can't alter any opinions Teresa.'

She looked up at him, shakily.

'He wants to see you,' he told her, letting go of her and stepping back.

Lisbon took a shaky step towards the glass, as if she could somehow melt through and be with him. Simultaneously, he rose in his chair, his eyes never wavering from hers.

She couldn't step straight through the glass to speak to him, but she could find some other means.

Cautiously, Lisbon pressed the buzzer on her side of the wall, and watched the receptionist flick the switch on the microphone.

'Have- have someone escort the young man up to my office,' she said through the speaker, knowing that her voice couldn't be heard by anyone except the receptionist through her headset, but feeling as if he could hear her voice, as he looked over at the desk.

He watched her go, turn around with the blond haired man. She knew him, she had recognised him, but had she rejected him? Would he just have to turn away and try and pretend to himself that he had never come? Had she simply turned down his request to see her by a casual shake of her head.

It certainly looked like it. Fuming to himself, he gave his chair a vicious kick around one of its front legs before turning away, ready to head out of the door of the main building.

'Young man?'

What did the receptionist want now? He turned his head back to her. 'Yes?' He asked curtly.

'I think you should wait. Agent Lisbon wants to see you in her office.'

**I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)**

**Thanks for reading, and please review!**

**Alice **


	3. Chapter 3

**So finally, a UD, I know its been a little while, but I haven't really had time for one, I have been working on this on and off for a while, but I won't bore you with details :P**

**Hopefully this chapter is more interesting, and I hope you all like it :)**

'I would rather be alone for this Jane.'

'You say that, but I know you don't mean it.'

'Oh believe me I do.' Lisbon glared at him. 'I want to speak to my brother in peace, without your mind games or interruptions.'

'My so called mind games tell me that you don't really want me out of here, you need emotional support, but you don't seem to want it from me.'

'Jane, I've asked politely, now's the part where you get the hell out of my office.'

He held his hands up in mock surrender, and flashed her a brief smile, seemingly unhurt by her words, before turning round and strolling casually through the door. 'You know where I am if you need me!' He called back to her without turning around.

Lisbon collapsed into her chair with her head in her hands, seconds before there was a knock at her door. 'Agent Lisbon?' A security guard stepped back to allow her guest in.

Her guest. Her brother. Her legs felt all funny, and the butterflies started in her stomach, and she didn't even rise from her chair, just waved a hand at the security guard, who considered himself dismissed.

'T-Teresa?' Davey was left standing alone in the doorway, peering at her as if he couldn't even believe who he was seeing.

'Shut the door, sit down.' She told him dismissively, tonelessly, just as she would say to probably any other visitor.

He obeyed, then lowered himself into a chair in front of her desk. 'What's with all the formalities?'

'It's how I work now,' he told him. 'And don't think you're going to be the one to change it.'

'Have you forgotten my name or something?' He asked, injecting a slight touch of humour into his tone.

'No.'

'Then why do you seem so reluctant to use it?'

'I'm not.....David.'

'Wasn't I always Davey to you?'

'You were. But do you still want me to treat you like a child?'

'I....' He looked slightly confused, scratching the week old stubble around his chin as he contemplated her office.

'You sent in this.' She picked up the harmonica that Jane had left on her desk.

A corner of his mouth pulled up in a lopsided grin. 'Yeah.'

'Why?'

'Well, you weren't going to let in just anyone were you?'

'But you wanted to see me?'

'Obviously.'

'Why's that?'

He instantly looked hurt. 'Don't you want to see me at all?'

He could tell she hadn't been expecting that, and she visibly floundered. 'I don't....tend to see anyone from...your time.'

'My time?'

'Our time. Our childhood.'

'Why not?'

'I've made myself a new life now David, isn't it obvious?'

'So I'm just a distant memory from your old life?' Disdain was now clear in his voice as he tipped back in his chair, rocking it on two legs. The sight brought a small smile to her face. 'What?' He asked.

'You always used to do that when you were tense. Or angry.'

'Oh so you remember me now do you?'

'I never said I didn't. But I haven't had contact with anyone. I've tried not to think about such a...complicated thing.'

'Complicated? I'm your brother!'

'That's why you're so complicated. It's not like you were ever a normal brother.'

Davey threw his chair down on four legs again and snatched the harmonica, before turning it onto its side and tracing the tiny letters engraved onto it with a finger.

"_Happy 11th birthday Teresa, love from Davey"_

'We may not have had a normal childhood, and I may not have given you the most expensive presents, but I cared Teresa, just like an ordinary brother. Why is that part so hard for you to remember?'

Lisbon clutched her hands in her lap, and stared down at them, letting her hair fall over her face. The memories were there, undisturbed, untouched, just the way she wanted it to stay. But one face, the face of someone who had been there, someone who could convince her that the memories were real, the mere sudden presence of a long, untouched face sent the memories swirling around her head.

"_Teresa, Teresa!" There was a loud pattern of disjointed footsteps, muffled by the duvet over her head, and her confused awakening was quickened by the covers being ripped away from her the split second the curtains were yanked open, letting the blinding sunlight stream into the room._

"_What the bloody hell?" She mumbled, with her eyes squeezed shut against the light, still half asleep and her hands flailing around to regain her duvet._

"_Did you hear that? She swore, Teresa SWORE!" She heard six year old Kurt giggle from somewhere beside her head._

"_Shhh!" She recognised Davey's voice. "You don't want Dad hearing that."_

"_Teresa, Teresa aren't you going to wake up?"_

_She blearily opened her eyes to squint at the grinning face of Tommy, in his over-excited nine and a half state, looming above her._

_She mumbled something incomprehensible, struggling to yank the duvet from year old Davey's hands with her eyes still half closed. _

"_For goodness sake, Teresa, it's your birthday!" Kurt practically shouted at her. "Aren't you going to open your presents?" _

"_Yes." Teresa pulled herself into a sitting position and yanked a hand through her tangled black hair. "But first I want a birthday breakfast of annoying little boys who wake me up!" She swung her legs out of bed and made a lunge for Kurt, who screeched with sudden excitement and leapt away from her._

"_Be QUIET!" Tommy snapped at him as he pelted around the bed away from his sister, who was making growling noises at him._

"_Tommy's right." Teresa took a quick step towards Kurt and yanked him into her arms before tipping him in a tangle of limbs onto her bed. "You don't want to wake Mum and Dad. Now sit down squirt, help me open my presents."_

_Kurt burrowed into the duvet beside her as Tommy and Davey handed over a few small wrapped parcels, which Kurt helped her pull open as eagerly as if they were for him. _

_Teresa grinned and hugged Tommy before placing the new blue striped cushion on her bed and turning to Davey's. _

"_Oh Davey! Hey, thanks!" Her eyes began to swim with tears as she unwrapped the small blue and silver harmonica, so similar to the one that she had watched the man on the street play with such skill, and admired from that day on._

"_You're crying?" Kurt asked, head on one side._

"_I'm happy! Thanks so much Davey, it must have cost you a lot."_

"_A hell of a lot. All his savings from the past month, and you know he doesn't get much." The children looked up at the entrance of their parents to her room. _

"_Let's not put a downer on the day, it was Davey's choice after all!" Her mother gave her father a stern look, before rushing to the bed and hugging her daughter. "Happy birthday darling!"_

"_Eleven now." Her father shook his head from side to side, his moustache hiding whether or not he was really smiling. _

_In truth, Teresa had always been that little bit scared of her father. He never did anything bad. It was just the way he would watch her and her brothers, often with a frown so evident that even his facial hair couldn't hide it. She often wondered how such a fun loving and excitable mother had ended up married to him. He seemed like the kind of person who was constantly on edge, who could turn in a space of no time at all._

_But for once, these feelings were easily chased away as her mother, ever the child, scrambled up onto her bed too in her nightdress, and crossed her legs as she handed a present to Teresa. _

"_Don't open it now!" She instructed quickly as Kurt's thumbs edged towards the wrapping. "Well, in a minute, I just want to hear you play this harmonica! You've spoken about that beggar man playing it so often that you must be an expert." She dropped a wink, and leaned forward expectantly._

_Feeling the eyes of the whole family upon her, Teresa lifted the harmonica to her lips and blew. She played only a simple scale, up to down, then down to back up, but the whole family burst into applause as if she had pulled off some kind of complicated musical piece. Even her father in the doorway gave her a few soft, slow claps._

"_Excellent darling!" Her mother cried. "Really excellent! Now come on, open my present, I'm dying to see what you think!"_

'Aren't you listening to me now, for God's sake?'

The sound of the voice, broken and matured, but still distantly recognisable from childhood, broke through the memories, shattering them like glass. The happy memories, somehow the ones she had been most scared of, but had found easiest to hide away.

'I was eleven.' She focused on her brother again. 'You were only eight. It was different back then. Your mother hadn't died.'

'_Our _Mother!' He was quick to correct her, frowning.

She just shook her head, staring down at her desk, and he realised how much he hated seeing her like this. Blaming things on herself, again, just as she always had done ever since their family had been torn apart so suddenly.

'Are you always like this?' He asked her, his voice soft. 'You say you've built a new life for yourself. Is it always full of memories you don't want to re-visit?'

He knew her so well. 'No. That's just your presence. You didn't have to come today, to do this to me. So if you don't mind I'd be thrilled if this meeting was over right now.' She got up, walked around him and opened the door. He rose to his feet too.

'I haven't seen you since you were eighteen,' he reminded her softly, hurt and a touch of despair in every syllable.

She looked at his face. 'I know. You've grown up so quickly. And you aren't the same.'

'You've seen me for about ten minutes, what the hell do you know?' He spread his arms wide, appealing to her.

'I know enough.' She pointed out the door.

His eyes were filled with scorn, and something that looked very close to hate as he stormed past her. She began to close the door.

'You should watch out you know,' he turned back to her, making her hesitate despite her wishes. 'You have other brothers too. And one of them's as off the rails as he has been since he was fourteen. Tommy. He's completely screwed up. Unless you get your act together and talk to him Teresa, he could well end up being one of the people who you have to arrest.'

She slammed the door in his face before he could see the tears.

**I really enjoy writing flashbacks to Lisbon's childhood, so please review, then I can spur myself on to UD, and write more if you enjoyed them, which I hope you did! **

**I've had a tiring week, reviews would really cheer me up, so please?**

**Alice xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


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